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Author Topic: Awful Rhymes  (Read 2720 times)
mickf
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« on: September 13, 2018, 11:24:40 PM »

Inspired by the 'Worst Lyrics' thread, I thought I'd ask for your examples of really bad/cheesy/downright stupid rhymes in songs.
I really love the country rock band Midnight North and would love to see them live, but they never (as far as I know) tour outside of the USA.

Anyway, although I love them, they produced one of the silliest rhymes I've ever heard, in their song 'Back to California' they have the wonderful rhyming couplet

"All the worries come in the mornings,
Yeah, the nights are full of endorphins"

So, can you beat that? Only one rule - no Marc Bolan rhymes, that would be too easy! Grin
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StephenB
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« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2018, 11:40:23 PM »

For some reason I always remember Kermit and Miss Piggy in the Muppet Show. Turns out iut was also covered by Groucho Marx, Bing Crosby and several others..

"She has eyes that folks adore so
And a torso even more so
Lydia, oh! Lydia, that Encyclopedia"
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musketeer john
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« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2018, 02:33:42 AM »

Noel Gallagher always wins:

"I know a girl called Elsa. She's into Alka Seltzer."
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Jules Gray
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« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2018, 10:44:31 AM »

"Don't know much about algebra
Don't know what a slide rule is for"
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blagden
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« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2018, 11:18:52 AM »

Gotta write a classic
Gotta write it in the attic.
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Jules Gray
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« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2018, 11:40:29 AM »


Gotta write a classic
Gotta write it in the attic.


Why stop there when it gets even worse?

Jules
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MarkV
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« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2018, 11:57:56 AM »

Alanis Morissette Thank U

How 'bout getting off these antibiotics
How 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots
How 'bout that ever elusive kudo

The Steven Wilson cover of the same

How 'bout getting off these antibiotics
How 'bout changing a line that don't make sense
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots
How 'bout that ever elusive kudo
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bassline (Mike)
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« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2018, 01:11:03 PM »


Alanis Morissette Thank U

How 'bout getting off these antibiotics
How 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots
How 'bout that ever elusive kudo

The Steven Wilson cover of the same

How 'bout getting off these antibiotics
How 'bout changing a line that don't make sense
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots
How 'bout that ever elusive kudo


Isn't that ironic ?
Don'tcha think ?
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Adam
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« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2018, 01:12:39 PM »

Possibly sacrilege, and fantastic band, but
“I got a job with Stanly, he said I’d come in handy” (Up the Junction) always grates with me.
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MarkV
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« Reply #9 on: September 14, 2018, 01:16:09 PM »



Alanis Morissette Thank U

How 'bout getting off these antibiotics
How 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots
How 'bout that ever elusive kudo

The Steven Wilson cover of the same

How 'bout getting off these antibiotics
How 'bout changing a line that don't make sense
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots
How 'bout that ever elusive kudo


Isn't that ironic ?
Don'tcha think ?


in the  fact i changed the wrong line in the S Wilson version.... yes
corrected version is of course

How 'bout getting off these antibiotics
How 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How 'bout changing a line that don't make sense
How 'bout that ever elusive kudo
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Nick
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« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2018, 05:08:10 PM »


"She's gotta be strong to fight them
So she's taking lots of vitamins"


Which I actually think is pretty much genius Cool

Comes from the same pen that produced

"Let them know you realise the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round"

See? Genius.
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RobertD
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« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2018, 06:43:36 PM »

I actually like the song...but this rhyme...oy! Ian Dury & The Blockheads-Geraldine

I'm in love with the person in the sandwich centre
I'm enamoured of the magic of her fresh polenta
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« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2018, 08:08:11 PM »


Possibly sacrilege, and fantastic band, but
“I got a job with Stanly, he said I’d come in handy” (Up the Junction) always grates with me.


That’s funny, I was about to put in the first two lines from the same song...even though I love that song...then I thought well, it is sort of ‘partial’ rhyme, which is acceptable. As are some of the above. It’s when they are shoe-horned in that the grating starts.

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MarkV
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« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2018, 08:14:29 PM »

My all time favorite is

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses.

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bassline (Mike)
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« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2018, 09:17:43 PM »


My all time favorite is

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses.




I always change the second line to 'wearing National Health glasses.'
It suggests that those that think that war is the answer, are being, perhaps, short sighted, and...and...well it doesn't really, but at least it's a different word.
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Jules Gray
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« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2018, 09:27:23 PM »



My all time favorite is

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses.


I always change the second line to 'wearing National Health glasses.'
It suggests that those that think that war is the answer, are being, perhaps, short sighted, and...and...well it doesn't really, but at least it's a different word.


I always change the first line to "Generals gathered with their lasses".*

Jules

*I never do this.
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Paul
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« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2018, 10:43:48 PM »

I snap my fingers at a foeman's taunts
and so do his cousins and his sisters and his aunts.

paul
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StephenB
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« Reply #17 on: September 14, 2018, 11:34:44 PM »

I love a lot of Squeeze's quirky lyrics, and a lot of them fall into the "creative rhyming " category. This is one of the worst (or best) , but certainly in the spirit of this thread. From Labelled with Love:

A moth eaten object she'd say that she'd sod all,
Her friends who had left her to drink from her bottle....

Hmmmm
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If I could be any animal I wanted...
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Jules Gray
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What makes the buzzard buzz?


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« Reply #18 on: September 14, 2018, 11:43:26 PM »

"I smoked my first cigarette at ten
And for girls, I had a bad yen."

From When I Was Young by Eric Burdon & The Animals.  I love the record, but that's a stinker of a rhyme.

Jules
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Jules Gray
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« Reply #19 on: September 14, 2018, 11:52:38 PM »

"With a Smith & Wesson 38
John Lennon's life was no longer a debate."

I Just Shot John Lennon by The Cranberries


"I wish that I could fly into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly"

Getaway by Lenny Kravitz

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