Have you seen that film the Wicker Man, Simon?

The one featuring Britt Ekland's sit-upon, voluptuous naked maidens dancing over a fire, a beheading during a sword-dance and an X-rated maypole? Surely Morris Dancing isn't about .....er...... thingy business, is it?
As you know, the Olympic Organisers are considering featuring Morris Dancing at the Opening Ceremony. Have you any recommendations about who they should book? Are there any choreographers on a par with Michael Flatulence? And which side does Britt Ekland dance with?
Sir Robert Peel
Security Adviser,
Olympics 2012.